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Your No. 1 blog source for rantings on The Sonics, The NBA, Voodoo, Chicken Bones, and Penis Invertings

road trip musings

Does anyone here know of the arcade classic game Supershot?

more supershot
even more supershot

(BTW, Don't you just love the age of the internet? Anyone even remember netscape? AOL? Momma.com? It would have been an arduous task to obtain the name, much less a picture of one of these games before, I found 4 sites in 5 minutes. Sweet. And has anyone else heard, or used, this internet 2 thing? Apparently you could download an entire movie in like a minute or the entire Jenna Jameson collection in two. That's f**king nuts. Anyone else look back nostalgically on the 96-98 years when you downloaded songs off of ftp sites in 15-20 minutes with total glee at the absurdity of it all? The excitement of the upgrade from an 18.8 to a 33.3 modem? Or when cablespeed and T1 & T3 were still revolutionary stuff? Nuts, i tell you.)

If you don't know of Supershot, shame on you. It's a game that simulates shooting a basketball. To the naked eye, it was essentially the same game, but to the knowledgable the differences were telltale & obvious. First off, the hoop was lower to eye level. That accompanied with the cage on the top prevented you from shooting with a true arc on your shoot. Secondly, the ball was a lot smaller. The whole follow through and rotation are nowhere near as comfortable to do with that small a ball. No follow through. A guy could be a 80-90% shooter on a regulation free throw but would be KILLED by a Supershot pro if he tried using that in this game. My friend would beat me mercilessly in this game and I always busted out my natural male reaction "Let's take this s**t to the courts now buddee!! I'll f**king bust you for real beeyatch!" (It'd be 1:00 in the morn and I'd be dead serious about finding a court to back up my bravado. Inebriation Roooolz!! And so does dictionary.reference.com!)

When you played Supershot you HAD to adjust your game and your mindset. This WASN'T basketball. This was Supershot. Lose the arc. Ditch the rotation. F**k the follow through. Once you adjusted your mind that this was not the same as the free throw could you begin to get good at this game.

So here's my point. You know those Nike Michael Vick Experience commercials where the guy get's on that roller coaster like ride imitating being Mike "You know how I get down" Vick in a real life NFL game? The one with the classic girlish scream at the end?

Supershot(c) = The NBA Shaquille Oneal Free Throw Experience

Shaq is a monster of a beast, and we earthlings often forget this fact. Matt's estimated (or possibly has privvy to the knowledge) that the diesel's dong is 24 inches long, which would make the distance from his thumb to his index fingertip 2 frikkin feet! Alright, maybe that's an overstatement, but even if his hand was just 1 foot long it'd still be significant enough to make holding & shooting a regulation basketball a different experience altogether. Go crumple some paper into a ball earthling, shoot it into a trash can, and compare that experience to a basketball. There IS a difference.

He's also a 7 foot tall guy. I'm 5'-9". When you're looking UP at the 10' rim, it becomes natural to have a higher arc in comparison to a 7' guy. Like I said earlier I don't blame bigs for not having arc on their shot. The rim's straight ahead; hence the missiles launched by the big fellas. Us 5'-6" earthlings easily deride them cause we don't put ourselves in their size 15 shoes. If you'll also notice some of the better FT% 7'ers had the proccess down of bending their knees(lowering starting point of shot) like Olajuwon. (The Dream is of course the exception rather than the norm, everything about his game seemed like that of a PG-SG: the sick ball handling, the shimmy shake, the ridiculous repetoire of moves... I don't think we will EVER see another 7 footer with the basketball grace of Hakeem. EVER.)

(BTW- I would've loved to add some data here showing the ft% average of all 7 footers vs. the average ft% of guys, say, 5'6"-6'0", to 6'-6'6" etc. I feel pretty safe in assuming that the data would've shown a decided advantage in ft shooting to the smaller guys. Maybe I will some time later. Somehow I doubt it though.)

We've all heard that Shaq has hired numerous different FT shooting trainers to teach him how to shoot. I have no doubts that a) these guys know how to shoot free throws and b) they're probably teaching how THEY shoot FTs. The idiots.

BE THE BALL. If I were to teach Shaq how to shoot I'd do either one of two things:

1) Let him shoot underhand, two handed style.
Harhar. Yer stoopid. That'd look sooooo gay! But the method has decided advantages. First it adds a natural arc to the shoot, since it comes from a lower point of trajectory. The only negative to it is the natural rotation is opposite to that desired. But hey it's still a whole lot frikkin' better than a supershot FT. The other advantage would of course be that we, the fans, would have the pleasure to witness a 7' 350lb behemoth HOFer Center shoot girly style. Honestly, how awesome would that be?

2) Train Shaq to aim higher. What I would do is ingrain(?) into his head that it's natural for him to shoot towards the hoop ("it's not your fault Shaq, it's not your fault") till he broke drown and cried on my shoulder and b) stop this madness by putting up some plexigass between he and the rim, about, oh, 12 ft tall or so for FT practice shooting. Maybe put up nudie pics of a great big grizzly bear a couple of feet above the rim to get him thinking/looking up a bit. And I'd taser the som'bitch anytime he clanked one on the glass. Scratch behind his ears when he got the rotation down. Rub his face in doodoo everyime he threw up a few. I might also consider starting him on training wheels like you do any kid learning how to ride a bike, by starting with a larger rim, and giving that man some candeeee!! every time he made one (positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, the basics for the basics kids.)

Act now Shaq and I'll throw in a free Ginsu knife! And if you're not fully satisfied, return my ass in 30 days for a full refund! (Isn't that ahmaaazing Nancee! And how!!)

So the answer to the age old question: What exactly do you think about when you're in a car for 18 hours straight? For me, it was Shaq's hands and Supershot.
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